- Sat up with a puking #4 until 2am
- Didn't quite sleep for the rest of the night, between accidentally getting toddler hair up my nose, having tiny fists flung into my eye, dealing with more vomit, and all the other joys that come of sharing a bed with a sick child
- Master's alarm went off
- My alarm went off
- Got kids up, ready, and out the door without any drama, which naturally made me suspicious
- Essentially spent the entire day being sat on by a sick child or cleaning up after a sick child
- Picked the kids up from school
- Did some laundry
- Dealt with #3 child melting down in a familiar I'm-going-to-be-sick-too-before-the-week-is-out sort of way
- Tried to tidy the house
- Unloaded, loaded, and ran the dishwasher
- Made dinner
- Went to bed with the still-sick #4
Thursday 27 February 2014
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Feb 25, 2014
- Woken up by Master's alarm
- Rolled over for morning snuggles, which I'm often not awake enough to remember to do
- Woken up by my alarm
- Dragged ass out of bed, woke up kids 1-3
- Made various breakfasts, encouraged other children to make their own dang breakfasts
- Argued with #1 child about an impressive array of shit nobody but an adolescent could turn into a fight
- Got kids 1-3 out the door
- Sitter showed up
- Got ready for my training session thingummy
- Left a screaming #4 child
- Received some very interesting training on anti-poverty initiatives, and some completely useless social media training
- Rescued the sitter from #4
- Returned a few calls
- Picked up #2-3 from school, was reminded #1 had basketball practice
- Sat around and internetted for a bit
- Told #1 she could go to a teammate's for dinner
- Started dinner
- Discovered lice on various children, started stripping beds and treating heads
- Handed off dinner and lice-heads to Master when he walked in the door
- Went to clean up from a school fundraiser
- Came home, made our bed, set the alarm, laid out Master's clothes, said goodnight to children
- Talked to #1 for a bit about the day
- Did a load of laundry
- Internetted
- Had a bath
- #4 child woke up puking
- Am currently sitting up with the vomitous child, will be doing so until god knows when
- Rolled over for morning snuggles, which I'm often not awake enough to remember to do
- Woken up by my alarm
- Dragged ass out of bed, woke up kids 1-3
- Made various breakfasts, encouraged other children to make their own dang breakfasts
- Argued with #1 child about an impressive array of shit nobody but an adolescent could turn into a fight
- Got kids 1-3 out the door
- Sitter showed up
- Got ready for my training session thingummy
- Left a screaming #4 child
- Received some very interesting training on anti-poverty initiatives, and some completely useless social media training
- Rescued the sitter from #4
- Returned a few calls
- Picked up #2-3 from school, was reminded #1 had basketball practice
- Sat around and internetted for a bit
- Told #1 she could go to a teammate's for dinner
- Started dinner
- Discovered lice on various children, started stripping beds and treating heads
- Handed off dinner and lice-heads to Master when he walked in the door
- Went to clean up from a school fundraiser
- Came home, made our bed, set the alarm, laid out Master's clothes, said goodnight to children
- Talked to #1 for a bit about the day
- Did a load of laundry
- Internetted
- Had a bath
- #4 child woke up puking
- Am currently sitting up with the vomitous child, will be doing so until god knows when
Monday 24 February 2014
Feb 24, 2014
- Hey, I woke up in the bed! Score!
- Woken up by Master's alarm
- Woken up by #3 child, who I cleverly tricked into snuggling with me in the bed
- Woken up several times by my alarm, which I smashed into submission
- Finally hauled myself and #3 out of bed, went downstairs and woke up the others
- Did the whole, ass-aggravating morning routine, complete with threats that we're all going to start waking up at 6am if we can't get ready on time
- Walked kids to school
- Volunteered for a bit while #4 ran riot
- Froze on the walk home, made hot cocoa and popcorn and put on a movie for #4
- Did some laundry
- House hunted, because reasons
- Went to get #4 ready to go back to the school, discovered him asleep in his chair and mostly undressed
- Walked back to the school
- Did second volunteer shift
- Picked up kids, went back to finish job I was doing
- Didn't get out of school until 4:45pm
- Walked #1 over to a friend's house, took all the kids in to ooh and ahh over the various pets
- Walked home
- #3 fell and sliced her face open on some ice
- Performed some first aid
- Master came home, told him he needed to take #3 for stitches
- Made dinner
- Fed #2 and #4
- Kinda bummed around for a while, mildly fretting about my kid at getting her face sewn up
- Eventually shuffled kids off to bed
- Master and #3 came home
- #3 excitedly explained to me about the sticker and popsicle she received from urgent care, as well as the Happy Meal Master bought her
- Swept floors
- Fetched Master's coffee and put on a fresh pot
- Put #3 to bed
- Wiped up some spilled coffee
- Sat down to internet
- Will go to bed shortly, but first make the bed, lay out Master's clothes for tomorrow, and set the alarm
- Woken up by Master's alarm
- Woken up by #3 child, who I cleverly tricked into snuggling with me in the bed
- Woken up several times by my alarm, which I smashed into submission
- Finally hauled myself and #3 out of bed, went downstairs and woke up the others
- Did the whole, ass-aggravating morning routine, complete with threats that we're all going to start waking up at 6am if we can't get ready on time
- Walked kids to school
- Volunteered for a bit while #4 ran riot
- Froze on the walk home, made hot cocoa and popcorn and put on a movie for #4
- Did some laundry
- House hunted, because reasons
- Went to get #4 ready to go back to the school, discovered him asleep in his chair and mostly undressed
- Walked back to the school
- Did second volunteer shift
- Picked up kids, went back to finish job I was doing
- Didn't get out of school until 4:45pm
- Walked #1 over to a friend's house, took all the kids in to ooh and ahh over the various pets
- Walked home
- #3 fell and sliced her face open on some ice
- Performed some first aid
- Master came home, told him he needed to take #3 for stitches
- Made dinner
- Fed #2 and #4
- Kinda bummed around for a while, mildly fretting about my kid at getting her face sewn up
- Eventually shuffled kids off to bed
- Master and #3 came home
- #3 excitedly explained to me about the sticker and popsicle she received from urgent care, as well as the Happy Meal Master bought her
- Swept floors
- Fetched Master's coffee and put on a fresh pot
- Put #3 to bed
- Wiped up some spilled coffee
- Sat down to internet
- Will go to bed shortly, but first make the bed, lay out Master's clothes for tomorrow, and set the alarm
Sunday 23 February 2014
Feb 23, 2014
- Woke up on the couch (again), felt sadness that Master hadn't come home from his night out
- Realized Master probably was in fact home and just hadn't been able to wake me up, went up to bed
- Woken up by Master
- Woken up by Master again, this time with the cunning goad that it was the 3rd period of the men's gold medal hockey game
- Came downstairs, watched hockey
- Yelled happy yells
- Had caffeine, internetted for a bit
- Made Master more coffee
- Wandered around doing not much of anything for a bit
- Had a bath
- Got dressed
- Sort of hustled kids along in the last minutes of the getting ready to go out process
- Visited Master's grandfather
- Took the kids ice skating with a friend and her child
- Had our friends come back to the house for dinner
- Made dinner
- Sat around yakking
- Threw kids in the tub
- Put away some laundry
- Had a tedious and surprisingly angsty conversation with #1 child about money management
- Sent out a couple emails
- Will be told shortly to go wait for Master in bed, where he intends to do sex things to me
- Will also make the bed, set the alarm and lay out Master's clothes for tomorrow
- Realized Master probably was in fact home and just hadn't been able to wake me up, went up to bed
- Woken up by Master
- Woken up by Master again, this time with the cunning goad that it was the 3rd period of the men's gold medal hockey game
- Came downstairs, watched hockey
- Yelled happy yells
- Had caffeine, internetted for a bit
- Made Master more coffee
- Wandered around doing not much of anything for a bit
- Had a bath
- Got dressed
- Sort of hustled kids along in the last minutes of the getting ready to go out process
- Visited Master's grandfather
- Took the kids ice skating with a friend and her child
- Had our friends come back to the house for dinner
- Made dinner
- Sat around yakking
- Threw kids in the tub
- Put away some laundry
- Had a tedious and surprisingly angsty conversation with #1 child about money management
- Sent out a couple emails
- Will be told shortly to go wait for Master in bed, where he intends to do sex things to me
- Will also make the bed, set the alarm and lay out Master's clothes for tomorrow
Saturday 22 February 2014
Feb 20, 21 and 22, 2014
Feb 20
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm
- #1 and #2 children felt sick, called them into school
- Prepped #3 child to see the dentist
- Friend came over to babysit, took #3 to the dentist
- Fretted and starved while they took #3 in to bed sedated and have dental work done
- Sat around the waiting room, read a bunch
- Was taken back to recovery, where #3 proceeded to scream and punch me
- Continued to be the target of screaming and punching for another 3 hours or so
- Made dinner
- Served dinner
- Put laundry away while Master put kids to bed
- Laid out Master's clothes for the next day, made the bed, set the alarm
- Sat around for a while on the tubes
- Went to bed
Feb 21
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm and #1 kid simultaneously bellowing that my alarm was going off
- Made breakfast for kids #2-4
- Got #1 kid out the door for the breakfast the school does for honours students
- Fractured a toe
- Got other kids ready, took them to school
- Fell walking home, ruined knee on leg opposite to broken toe
- Spent several hours sitting very still in a chair, letting #4 watch entirely too much television
- Did some social media work
- Hobbled back over to the school to volunteer
- Pawned #2 and #3 off on a friend for a playdate
- Napped a bit on the couch while #4 napped in the stroller
- Encouraged #1 to make herself a sandwich before going off to a sleepover, because standing long enough to cook seemed impossible
- Master came home
- Realized I hadn't eaten yet that day
- Barely did even my usually incompetent amount of putting kids to bed
- Cried about cheeseburgers
- Was purchased a cheeseburger
- Eventually fell asleep on the couch
Feb 22
- Woken up on the couch by Master
- Confusedly dealt with Master finding my cell phone submerged in half a mug of coffee (I blame punk kids), made him coffee, went up to the bed
- Woken up by Master
- Woken up by Master again
- Eventually shuffled downstairs, picked up the cup of tea he had made me, slowly internetted my way to being a functional human
- Confessed that I didn't think our day's plans were going to pan out, to which the Captain expressed some relief
- Got ready to go to my parents' house
- Spent an afternoon eating fantastic cheese, drinking decent wine, and doing a puzzle with my mom
- Came home, Master went out
- Put kids #2-4 to bed
- Watched Mean Girls with #1 kid
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm
- #1 and #2 children felt sick, called them into school
- Prepped #3 child to see the dentist
- Friend came over to babysit, took #3 to the dentist
- Fretted and starved while they took #3 in to bed sedated and have dental work done
- Sat around the waiting room, read a bunch
- Was taken back to recovery, where #3 proceeded to scream and punch me
- Continued to be the target of screaming and punching for another 3 hours or so
- Made dinner
- Served dinner
- Put laundry away while Master put kids to bed
- Laid out Master's clothes for the next day, made the bed, set the alarm
- Sat around for a while on the tubes
- Went to bed
Feb 21
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm and #1 kid simultaneously bellowing that my alarm was going off
- Made breakfast for kids #2-4
- Got #1 kid out the door for the breakfast the school does for honours students
- Fractured a toe
- Got other kids ready, took them to school
- Fell walking home, ruined knee on leg opposite to broken toe
- Spent several hours sitting very still in a chair, letting #4 watch entirely too much television
- Did some social media work
- Hobbled back over to the school to volunteer
- Pawned #2 and #3 off on a friend for a playdate
- Napped a bit on the couch while #4 napped in the stroller
- Encouraged #1 to make herself a sandwich before going off to a sleepover, because standing long enough to cook seemed impossible
- Master came home
- Realized I hadn't eaten yet that day
- Barely did even my usually incompetent amount of putting kids to bed
- Cried about cheeseburgers
- Was purchased a cheeseburger
- Eventually fell asleep on the couch
Feb 22
- Woken up on the couch by Master
- Confusedly dealt with Master finding my cell phone submerged in half a mug of coffee (I blame punk kids), made him coffee, went up to the bed
- Woken up by Master
- Woken up by Master again
- Eventually shuffled downstairs, picked up the cup of tea he had made me, slowly internetted my way to being a functional human
- Confessed that I didn't think our day's plans were going to pan out, to which the Captain expressed some relief
- Got ready to go to my parents' house
- Spent an afternoon eating fantastic cheese, drinking decent wine, and doing a puzzle with my mom
- Came home, Master went out
- Put kids #2-4 to bed
- Watched Mean Girls with #1 kid
Wednesday 19 February 2014
Feb 17, 18, and 19, 2014
Feb 17
- Public holiday. Had plans to take the kids ice skating, fucked them up. Master made snow forts with the kids in the backyard while I made dinner. Did very little in the way of housework (by which I mean, "none"). Continued feeling shitty and hormonal and psychotic. Essentially did nothing recognizably slavey, and in fact, the International Slave Judging Association sent a representative to strip me of my title.
- Started counting calories, not because SuperMasterlyMasterManPants ordered me to or anything fappish like that (although being ordered to watch what I eat usually just fills me with unreasonable and unreasoning rage), but because I'm sick of my weight.
Feb 18
- Kids out the door to school. Went to the training session thingummy I do every Tuesday. "Enjoyed" a lunch that consisted primarily of salad. Quite honestly, most of the day is lost to my memory already, which is how you know it was a highly productive day. Speaking of productive days...
Feb 19
- Awoken at 3am by fire trucks whipping past the house, sirens and horns blaring. Consider this marginal improvement over being woken by a child.
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm
- Performed the usual rite of dragging kids out of bed and getting them ready for school
- Walked to the school with them
- Walked with #4 child through endless kilometers of uncleared sidewalks
- Enjoyed an Americano at a cafe with a friend
- All the trillion more kilometers full of snow back home
- Made lunch for me and #4
- Worked on a social media contract I just picked up
- Went to the school to volunteer
- Brought the kids home
- Made an early dinner
- Cancelled an evening appointment
- Went grocery shopping
- Came home, made the kids a snack
- Sorted laundry while Master put this kids to bed, made the bed and laid out Master's clothing
- Started a load of laundry
- Did more social media work
- Tried to overlook how hungry and cranky being hungry makes me
- Did some light blogging
- Fucking ate
- Switched laundy over
- Went to bed
- Public holiday. Had plans to take the kids ice skating, fucked them up. Master made snow forts with the kids in the backyard while I made dinner. Did very little in the way of housework (by which I mean, "none"). Continued feeling shitty and hormonal and psychotic. Essentially did nothing recognizably slavey, and in fact, the International Slave Judging Association sent a representative to strip me of my title.
- Started counting calories, not because SuperMasterlyMasterManPants ordered me to or anything fappish like that (although being ordered to watch what I eat usually just fills me with unreasonable and unreasoning rage), but because I'm sick of my weight.
Feb 18
- Kids out the door to school. Went to the training session thingummy I do every Tuesday. "Enjoyed" a lunch that consisted primarily of salad. Quite honestly, most of the day is lost to my memory already, which is how you know it was a highly productive day. Speaking of productive days...
Feb 19
- Awoken at 3am by fire trucks whipping past the house, sirens and horns blaring. Consider this marginal improvement over being woken by a child.
- Woken by Master's alarm
- Woken by my alarm
- Performed the usual rite of dragging kids out of bed and getting them ready for school
- Walked to the school with them
- Walked with #4 child through endless kilometers of uncleared sidewalks
- Enjoyed an Americano at a cafe with a friend
- All the trillion more kilometers full of snow back home
- Made lunch for me and #4
- Worked on a social media contract I just picked up
- Went to the school to volunteer
- Brought the kids home
- Made an early dinner
- Cancelled an evening appointment
- Went grocery shopping
- Came home, made the kids a snack
- Sorted laundry while Master put this kids to bed, made the bed and laid out Master's clothing
- Started a load of laundry
- Did more social media work
- Tried to overlook how hungry and cranky being hungry makes me
- Did some light blogging
- Fucking ate
- Switched laundy over
- Went to bed
Sunday 16 February 2014
Feb 16, 2014
- Middle. of. the. night. child. AGAIN.
- Child wakes up for the day, Master gets up
- Eventually get woken up
- Make a resentful attempt to meal plan and create the grocery list, find I cannot concentrate
- Sort kids #2 and #3 out and get them out the door to visit some festival with one of their friends
- Snap at Master during what ought to have been a perfectly reasonable conversation
- Go upstairs to get dressed
- Accuse Master of snapping at me first
- Discover my period has started
- Apologize to Master for being a rancid, hormonal thundercunt
- Go grocery shopping with #4 kid and Master
- Ragequit the shoe department in Target when nothing fits properly
- Quad Americano makes life slightly more tolerable
- Buy all the meats! All the foods! Hormones react favourably to squeeze bottles of spicy mint chutney!
- Come home, decide making dinner is bullshit since everyone's been snacking all day
- Put groceries away, mentally plan out dinner for the next few days
- Welcome children home
- Find myself on the receiving end of some intense batshittery from other volunteers at the school (thanks, Facebook!)
- Kinda help put kids to bed, but not really
- Make myself a depressingly weak gin and tonic, because I'm almost out of gin
- Grab a bag of potato chips
- Internet
- Try to watch Breaking Bad, find I'm having trouble concentrating
- Eventually go to bed, either to be used or to perform what Master predicts will be a "sulky handjob"
- Child wakes up for the day, Master gets up
- Eventually get woken up
- Make a resentful attempt to meal plan and create the grocery list, find I cannot concentrate
- Sort kids #2 and #3 out and get them out the door to visit some festival with one of their friends
- Snap at Master during what ought to have been a perfectly reasonable conversation
- Go upstairs to get dressed
- Accuse Master of snapping at me first
- Discover my period has started
- Apologize to Master for being a rancid, hormonal thundercunt
- Go grocery shopping with #4 kid and Master
- Ragequit the shoe department in Target when nothing fits properly
- Quad Americano makes life slightly more tolerable
- Buy all the meats! All the foods! Hormones react favourably to squeeze bottles of spicy mint chutney!
- Come home, decide making dinner is bullshit since everyone's been snacking all day
- Put groceries away, mentally plan out dinner for the next few days
- Welcome children home
- Find myself on the receiving end of some intense batshittery from other volunteers at the school (thanks, Facebook!)
- Kinda help put kids to bed, but not really
- Make myself a depressingly weak gin and tonic, because I'm almost out of gin
- Grab a bag of potato chips
- Internet
- Try to watch Breaking Bad, find I'm having trouble concentrating
- Eventually go to bed, either to be used or to perform what Master predicts will be a "sulky handjob"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)